<< This is an excerpt from the upcoming book: The DECIDE Method >>

Well, okay, yes. Clients are often difficult. 😩 But it might not be their fault that they can’t make decisions.

Sure, their inability to make and stick to a choice is causing their own design fatigue, killing project momentum, and eating all your profits, but they don’t mean to do all that.

When clients struggle to decide, it’s usually a symptom, not the root problem. The real issue is that there are obstacles standing in the way of decision-making.

In this chapter, we’re going to look at what those obstacles are and how to reduce them—not just during the project, but earlier, starting in your very first conversations with a new client.

Later in the book, we’ll get honest about the mistakes designers make that unintentionally make these problems worse. I’ll also share troubleshooting strategies for especially sticky situations. And of course, I’ll teach you the DECIDE method along with a set of mini techniques you can use to help clients move forward with confidence.

The big thing you need to understand is: it’s all connected.

It’s All Connected

The first thing to understand about why it’s hard for your clients to make decisions is that this isn’t the only thing going on in their lives. They’ve shoehorned a huge, expensive project into an already over-full life. Before they took on the remodel, she was already helping care for her aging mother, he was already navigating the stress of a new job, and they were already struggling to making to their kids swim meets, ballet recitals, and soccer practices. Like having a baby, there is no “good” time to take on a remodel. 

Emotionally, none of that is really your concern: you’re just here to do your job. 

The problem  is that what ever circus they’re running affects your ability to effectively do your job. So… what can you do about it?

5 Reasons Every Client Struggles To Make Design Decisions

Since we can’t fix something we don’t understand,  let’s begin by calling out five reasons we all struggle to make choices:

1. Unfamiliar territory. (too many options, fear of not knowing enough)
2. Wanting to get it “right.” (unclear priorities, fear of disappointment)
3. Lots of money. (fear of making expensive mistakes)
4. Competing priorities. (emotional misalignment, fear of regret)
5. Multiple people. (decision-making by committee, fear of judgment from spouse/family/friends)

Decision-Making Obstacle #1: Unfamiliar Territory 

Humans get nervous when things feel unfamiliar. And when we’re nervous, we tend to circle the wagons and shift into protection mode.

Of course, everyone has a different tolerance for unfamiliarity. Some people genuinely enjoy new experiences and feel energized by uncertainty. Faced with something unknown, they become more adventurous, more curious, even more willing to take risks. My husband is like that. Throw him into a new situation and he just rolls with it. Need a decision from him? No problem. 

But most people aren’t built that way.

When they feel uncertain, they become more conservative. The more unfamiliar the process feels, the riskier every decision starts to seem. Suddenly, even small choices carry emotional weight.

That’s me. When I first moved to France I felt so much angst navigating all the tiny decisions I took for granted in the United States. Even something as simple as choosing a household cleanser or drain declogger became a big ordeal. Did I “just choose something” and hope it would be fine? No way! 

Instead, I noticed a familiar face among the cleansers – good ol’ Mr. Clean, or “Mr. Prope” in French – and tossed his shiny bald head into my cart with a visceral sigh of relief. And when it came time to choose the french version of Drain-O? I asked an old guy in the aisle what he would use. 

When things are unfamiliar, we have no inner compass to follow, so we reach for the familiar, and we ask others for advice. 

Your client may be spending more money than they ever have before in pursuit of a home they deeply want. At the same time, they may feel painfully aware that they don’t know enough to judge whether they’re making good decisions. They don’t trust their own instincts — which is often one of the reasons they hired you in the first place — and they don’t know how to sort through all the options and still feel confident they’ll end up with the result they’re hoping for.

If this is their first major renovation project, expect that anxiety to be amplified.

They likely don’t know what to expect from the design process, the construction process, the costs, the timelines, the decisions, or even what success should realistically look like. They may not know what’s normal, what’s a red flag, what requires flexibility, or what’s expected of them along the way.

That uncertainty creates stress. And stressed people do not make decisions the same way calm people do.

Clients who have remodeled before usually experience far less fear around the unknown. That doesn’t mean they’ll never struggle with decisions, but unfamiliar territory is no longer the primary obstacle.

This is exactly why it’s so important to understand how this project fits into the larger context of your client’s life, and whether or not this is their first rodeo, before you ever accept the project. (This should be a primary goal during your consultation process.)

We can’t remove all the fear from remodeling. Nor should we pretend we can. A renovation is a major investment of money, time, energy, and trust.

But there are ways to reduce overwhelm, create clarity, and help clients feel safer navigating the process. And those strategies make better decisions possible. More on that soon… but first, let’s look at the second common obstacle to making decisions. 

Decision-Making Obstacle #2: Wanting to get it “right.” 

When folks hire an interior designer, they aren’t doing it because they want “a beautiful home” or someone to “tell their story.” For most folks, that’s not a reward big enough to invest in. 

What they are paying for is reassurance that they’re making the right choices, and avoiding choices they’ll hate later, but didn’t know to even worry about. 

That sounds reasonable on the surface, but “right” is a dangerous word. Not only is it abiguous (what does “right” mean?) but also, once clients start thinking in terms of “right vs. wrong,” decision-making becomes emotionally loaded. 

A client choosing between two good tile options is no longer simply choosing between Tile A and Tile B. Instead, they begin wondering:

• Will I regret this later?
• What if I’m making a mistake?
• Should I have picked the other one?
• Maybe we should keep looking?

The search for the “perfect” answer creates paralysis because perfection is impossible to prove in advance. As a results, even when clients make a choice, they end up second-guessing the decision. That’s when you get those soul-sucking late-night texts: 

• “What about this idea?”
• “What if we chose this instead?” 
• and the worst, “My sister/mom/plumber thinks we should this – what do you think?”

Clients come to the table thinking good decisions come from finding the objectively perfect option. In reality, good decisions usually come from understanding priorities clearly enough to make confident tradeoffs.

Because every project involves tradeoffs.

The client living with muddy paw prints can either choose the patterned, stain-camouflaging fabric or the white-as-snow Belgian linen sofa of their dreams. Not both. We can prioritize timelessness, budget, speed, uniqueness, comfort, resale value, sustainability, or low maintenance choices… but not all at of those at the same time.

When priorities are unclear, every option feels equally important. And when everything feels equally important, decisions become exhausting.

This is why helping clients clarify what matters most is one of the greatest gifts a designer can offer. Not because you’re choosing for them, but because you’re helping them stop measuring every decision against an imaginary standard of perfection that doesn’t actually exist.

There is no perfect home. There is only a home that reflects the people living there, their priorities, their season of life, and the tradeoffs they’re willing to make. The challenge is helping your clients identify their true priorities and defining success, so you can help them make the best decisions possible for their needs, their family, and their circumstances. 

We’ll learn how to do that later in this book. But for now, let’s look at the third common obstacle to decision-making…

Decision-Making Obstacle #3: Lots of money….

…

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